I just hooked up with an old classmate in high school on Facebook. He and his family were very low income and were often looked down upon by others in the school. They lived in a house that probably had no running water, central heat or air. They came to school in very worn and tattered clothes. They often looked like they had not bathed in some time. Needless, to say they were outcasts in our school.
As he messaged me on Facebook he expressed deep feelings about being bullied. 30 years later he is still having great difficulty dealing with the fact that he was bullied throughout school. In fact he wrote that he didn't have a family because he didn't want his children bullied. Imagine that! Let that sink in! He didn't want a family, because he didn't want his children to be bullied!!!
I can't imagine the bitterness and hurt that he has suffered for so long. I'm not sure "sad" is even the word that describes the situation. A person's life has been damaged severely by the lack of love and compassion that could have been shared by his classmates and by myself. I carry a load of guilt because I could have been a better friend and at least lessened the feeling of rejection that he felt. Maybe I could have changed his life. Maybe he would have a wife and children if I or someone had reached out and befriend him. Maybe his life would have been so much different.
There is a lesson here for all of us. Not just our children in school but for us also as adults. Everyone wants to feel loved and needed. While bullying is not so commonplace in the adult world it still happens as we have seen in the recent NFL headlines coming out of Miami. But regardless, we, as adults may not bully per se, but we may look down or criticize or ignore others in our life. Often there is a silent bullying that occurs.
What is so important is that we reach out with love and compassion to those in our life. The person in our life that needs to feel loved and appreciated may be the person lying next to us in bed, or just down the hallway. We often overlook our family and assume that they know we love them. But we often take them for granted and we need to show them our love and appreciation everyday. Do they KNOW that we love them and need them? Do they know that we want them? That they are important to us.
But we also need to reach out to those that God brings into the peripheral circles of our life. It may be the person that bags our groceries, the waitress, the check in person at our hotel. For me as a Physical Therapist it may be one of my patients, or one of my wife's students that she evaluates at school.
Regardless we are to love everyone that God brings into our lives. Not just those that are lovable. Sometimes the ones that need love the most are those that are the most unlovable for whatever reason. They may be someone that is not good looking according to the world's standards, they may have few possessions, or have a personality that it irritating to many. But regardless God made them and we are to love them. And when we love them we make a difference in their life. We share God's love with them and help them realize they really are important.
It haunts me that one man felt so unloved that he would not have children because he didn't want his children to be treated the way he was. It motivates me to love more freely and unconditionally. It encourages me to be bold and take the initiative to make sure that those in my life know that they are love and appreciated! How about you?
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